We have seven children and J., now 15 years old, suffers from Down syndrome. When we were planning to get married, we had asked God for a beautiful family. We never thought, however, that there would be something special in store for us with the birth of our first child.

It was one of those moments which turn your whole life upside down. We had to face the difficulties a disabled child brings. Instead of dreaming about her future, we immediately had to concentrate on addressing her special needs. But because we had to start her on an early-intervention program, with stimulation techniques, this stopped us from closing in on ourselves. And the subsequent birth of our two other children helped us to do this even more.

J. is the one who bonds our family together, not only because of her special needs but because of her affectionate nature. She is joyful, uninhibited, friendly with everyone, never resentful. This allowed us to discover the great value of diversity, not only regarding her and her condition, but the value of each child. Without J., we would perhaps not have been so ready to accept and to understand our children’s behaviour, to understand their way of doing things, to appreciate the one who perhaps didn’t excel at school but who showed such a great spirit of service. Each one so different: this is the wealth of a family.

J. opens our family to society

The greatest thing our family has gained through J. has been its openness towards the wider community. Many families visit our home to learn from our experience with a Down syndrome child. In listening to them share about their situations, we learn of the many problems they face, of their hidden sufferings, and we have been able to give light and support to many of them. We also share with them the difficulties we have run into along the way, but the joy that reigns in our family is also there for them to draw from.

Suspicion in school

When J. reached school age, we were faced with another dilemma. In our country the integration of disabled children in schools wasn’t an option. Our efforts to put this in motion were met with suspicion. This was another opportunity to open up our family to the needs of other families.

We visited an educational institute run by a religious congregation and asked if they would consider allowing us to carry out this experiment. A team composed of teachers, experts and parents was established. We worked hard to pave the way, making some mistakes, but also achieving great success. Gradually the people at the institute expressed their joy at having learned so much from this student who was "different".

J.’s classmates often ring her up to invite her to their place and many parents encourage their children to nurture this enriching friendship.